New Chapter

It's been a long while since I've "blogged". I think because I'm not sure if anyone ever reads it. But then I got to thinking, "Maybe this is for me more than anyone else". Maybe this is a good outlet for me to express my thoughts, fears, hopes and dreams, even IF no one else ever sees the words. So here goes.....



Last April, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. You know, as if that isn't bad enough, they explained that it was intra-ductal breast cancer. As if that meant something to me. Either way, I had finally succumbed to the most dreaded disease around. I couldn't believe it. My dr. said there was less than a 10% chance that it would be cancer before he operated. He even told my family afterwards that he didn't think it was anything, but they would send it off just to make sure. Then the call came, "Mrs. Martens, the dr. has given me permission to tell you that you have the very beginning stages of breast cancer". It was surreal. Just as when they told me I had a "lazy" heart years ago, you kind of go in to a dream like state trying to digest what just passed through your ear canal.



I told the surgeon the next time I saw him that I had a bone to pick with him.......he told me I was very, very lucky. Ok, ok, I get it. Lucky.



Another surgery to make sure the margins were clear and then began a 6 1/2 week course of daily radiation treatments. No complaints. It was more trouble getting there than the actual treatments being that bad. Now the cumulating effects on my skin - well, that's another story, but I have watched dear ones suffer so much more than I. But every day it gets better. Last Monday I had my last treatment. I got a certificate of "graduation" from all the folks that had been "frying" me all summer. They were very, very nice, respectful and friendly. I told the dr. he had a very nice "crew", but that if I ever had to see them again, I would hope it would be under completely different circumstances!



So life does throw you curveballs once in a while. But I want to live, so I will continue to take care of myself. I will continue to be a champion of early detection - of yearly mammograms - and try to be educated.



I want to grow old with my hubby. I want to see my children grow "old". I want to see my precious grandchildren grow, get married and have babies of their own. I want to travel, I want to "see the world" before I leave it. I AM lucky, and blessed and have loving folks around me who care about me, and I care about them.



So seize the day. Tell someone you love them. Take a dish to a sick neighbor, call an old friend you haven't talked to for awhile, hug your loved ones. Laugh outloud. Take good care of yourself, you belong to me!